The Story Left Untold

DISCLAIMER: This post mentions domestic abuse. If that is a sensitive subject for you, please exit. I’ll see you next week. ♡

Before we continue, please do not interpret my words in today’s post as bitter, self righteous, convicting or condescending. I am simply making my inner narrative public, and I hold no anger or judgement in my heart. Like all situations in life, there are MULTIPLE sides to a story, and I am only sharing one.

“Speak your truth and let your heart be heard, for even disaster is beautiful when it is pure.”

I never planned on sharing this story. I wanted to keep it buried and suffocate it in the darkness.

But now that the years have passed, and our story has run cold, I feel compelled to share MY narrative. 

Several years ago I was quickly kicked out of a close friend’s life because I told them their boyfriend was harmful. Toxic. My intention was never to break them up. I just wanted to extend a helping hand. I thought that our friendship meant something, but it held as much weight as a teardrop in the ocean.

I had watched their heart shatter too many times, and I was running out of glue to put it back together. My friend deserved safety, love, happiness and peace. Not bruises, lies and empty promises.

My failed attempt at saving them transpired into the death of our friendship. They left California, and took my sunshine with them.

I considered this person one of my best friends. I would have moved mountains for them, and my concern only came from the purest kind of love. I just wanted them to be happy and SAFE.  

Could I have articulated my words better? Yes.

Should I have approached the situation with more empathy? Yes.

Do I regret speaking up? NO

I spent so much time regretting my candor, and the guilt that followed ripped me in two.   

If you know someone is abusing your closest friend, are you TRULY their friend if you turn a blind eye to it?  Can you smile nonchalantly while you watch them dance with the devil? Can you sleep at night knowing they aren’t safe? If something ever happened to them, could you live with yourself?

I know I’m not the only one who has watched a sisterhood crumble after speaking the truth out of love. Sometimes we choose to remain quiet in order to save face, but that can quickly turn you into a martyr. 

Typically, I am non-confrontational, and enjoy staying in my own lane. I cherish my inner peace more than anything, and that leaves zero room for judgement. Forcing my opinion is NOT my style whatsoever. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone is blunt and aggressive with their words. Especially when they excuse their behavior by saying “I’m just honest”. No, you’re just rude. If you’re a kind, compassionate human, that’s good enough for me. I happily avoid debates over politics, religion, money and petty drama… But something that I KNOW is hurting a loved one… I’ll scream it from the mountain tops.  

Bringing this trauma to the light will probably backfire, and your words will be taken as a threat. You will be perceived as judgmental, hypocritical, intolerant, selfish, and a fake friend. They will go out of their way to cling to those that whisper sweet validations in their ears and rub it in your face.  You will be made into the enemy, and for a short while, you will feel like the enemy.

I couldn’t win. I only had two options: Kindly and gently share my concern for their well being, but risk losing them forever. Or remain silent, and continue to watch them suffer.

Instead of giving this individual the power to rot my bones, I chose to see the situation from a new perspective.  After all, point a finger, and you will find three pointing right back at you.

It wasn’t an easy journey to find clarity in the heartbreak.  I’m now mature enough to reflect, and see the blessings in the chaos. If I held my tongue, it may have temporarily kept the peace, but they would’ve left me eventually. Ignoring my conscience would have simply delayed the inevitable. I suppose I should be thankful for their abandonment because it forced me to grow, and face demons that I ignored for far too long. Being rejected by someone so near and dear launched me onto a better path.

I made new friends and embraced new adventures.  Adventures that were only made possible by them leaving.  

Did I spend months desperately wishing that I had them back? Sure. But after a while, I discovered redemption and hope in the unknown.

There are still some times that my heart aches to meet for coffee, and I long to bask in the warmth and comfort of nostalgia. In my weakest moments, I crave the days when our loyalty remained unbroken.

Most of my posts have some sort of conclusion or happy ending. You will not find that type of closer today. My scattered writing drips with the same conflict that clogs my heart. The way our story ended still haunts my subconscious, and while I stand behind my decision, I will always miss them.

Turning my pain into art and forcing it to have texture is the only action that truly helps me move on. If you have ever been in a similar situation or dealt with unanswered questions, I urge you to give your feelings physical form. Journaling, painting, drawing, photography… it will help put the pieces together, and ease the discomfort.

The story left untold has now been told, and I’m finally free.

All my love,

17 thoughts on “The Story Left Untold

  1. Thank you for being so vulnerable and open with us! I’m sure this wasn’t easy at all for you. So happy you feel set free sharing this with us all!

  2. Meghan, I am so sorry for your pain but happy that you feel free. Its hard to say what i would do if faced with a similar situation. I’ve never really had that kind of close bonds-friendships but I do believe you did the right thing. Maybe some day your friend will realize that. Thinking of you & sending you love.

  3. I’m happy you feel free now that you’ve shared your story. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this! You seem like such a beautiful person, inside and out. You’re very strong❤️

  4. Amazing story and I mean that by saying it’s amazing only because you had the nerve to finally release yourself from holding all this in …I’m super proud of you

  5. Ugh, this is such an important but such a difficult issue. My boyfriend is currently having this debate with himself about one of his friends. Thank you for your bravery and for sharing your story!

    Miles of smiles,
    Grace

    gracefulrags.com

  6. Thank you for sharing this personal story of yours. I can’t imagine losing a really close friend of yours when you were only trying to help. You are truly a good person! 🙂

  7. Wow this got me emotionally hardcore. I’ve been through this, and I lost my friend for it, and then they also began slandering me to others and saying I was a narcissist and a control freak and that I wanted to keep them under my thumb. It got insane, and ultimately I quit college because of the anxiety of the lies and hate constantly circulating around me. All because I told a friend the truth, and I even went about it in a loving and gentle way, and they still saw me as a threat and a monster. To this day it hurts and it’s been going on 4 years now, and anytime it comes to mind I am in turmoil. Thanks for your vulnerability girl, and for being honest and empathetic as always.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.