It has been a hot minute since I sat down, and just talked to you guys. There’s really no reason for my absence. I have been putting a lot of my focus into creating more beauty related content, and while I thoroughly enjoy it, that is definitely not where my heart feels most at home. I want to get back to talking about the topics that make most individuals uncomfortable because that is where growth is found. That is what the world so desperately needs. Brave people coming forward, and speaking on subjects that MATTER. Soul food. I don’t want to be the writer that asks the unattached, “How are you?”. No, I want to be the one that asks you, “What is making your heart so heavy? Let’s talk about it.” Because while I do not have all of the answers (I’m barely figuring it out myself), I‘m fully capable of listening. There is beauty in sharing our pain.
With that being said, today I wanted to chat about your inner monologue. The little voice in your head that dictates so much of your life. I have really been struggling with what I allow in my space, and how I talk to myself. One day I sat back and analyzed just how much destructive, behavioral thoughts I was welcoming into my life, and it was BAD. Turns out, I have been treating myself poorly for many, many years. I realized that I probably wasn’t the only one dealing with this so I felt compelled to share.
I love the quote: “If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.”
Imagine you are at lunch with one of your best friends, and a random person starts ruthlessly insulting them. If you’re anything like me, I am pretty sure you would step in, and tell that person to stop. I would also assume that you would be pretty aggressive about it, and wouldn’t back down. Or take no for an answer. THAT is exactly how we should handle our own negative thoughts about ourselves. Instead, we let our inner voice stand at the table hurling insults at us while we try to enjoy our meal. We even act like it’s supposed to be there, and it is totally normal! We welcome the poison with open arms because we don’t know any better. The world has wired our brains to accept toxic thoughts as normal, and something we should play as our mantra. Think about all of the ads that are shoved in your face EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. They used to just be on billboards and flyers being passed on the street. Now they’re all over your phone with any and every app that you use. The commercials on tv are getting longer and longer, and much bolder than they were several years ago. They’re all over stores, restaurants and sometimes placed under the windshield wipers on your car. All of these ads have one thing in common. They are preying on your insecurities. They are betting on that small voice in your head to tell you that the $1,000 skin treatment will cure your acne. That this tea will help you lose weight, and make you look better in a bikini… I could be here all day writing down every single twisted ad that I have seen. They are all betting on compromising your self confidence. I know this cycle has been happening for a while now, but in the age of social media, there’s almost no escape.
What would happen if we ignored the ads? What if we stopped looking at ourselves and using the words ugly, fat, stupid, useless, boring, and replaced them with beautiful, courageous, smart, kind and compassionate? What if we stood up from the table, and walked to another restaurant?
Our lives would drastically change if we could simply alter the way we talk to ourselves, and the thoughts we allow into our space.
Believe me. It is easier said than done. There are days when the negativity gets the best of me, but I am constantly learning and getting stronger. Once you can make a habit of stopping the toxic thoughts before they take root, it will become second nature.
Remember, it’s okay to love yourself. You can remain humble even if you cherish who you are, and know your worth. Embrace your individuality, and start talking to yourself like you would a loved one. It will change your life.
All my love,